I have taught fifth grade for seven years, and over those years, I would hear stories of teachers being accused of being racist by students and their parents. However, this was something that I thought would never happen to me. I was too devoted to all of my students for anyone to say such untruthful things about me. Well, I was wrong.
Several years ago, I had an African American male student that entered my classroom with a bad attitude about school. He was extremely intelligent, and I picked up on that right away. He misbehaved on a regular basis at the beginning of the year, and I knew of some issues with his home life. So, I was determined to let this child know that he was something special. Not only was he special to me, but he was special to the world. We immediately became very close, and I felt like I understood him. Occasionally, he would act out and get into trouble, but for the most part, things were going well.
It was time for parent-teacher conferences, and I was so excited to finally meet his mother and brag on what a bright child he was. To my surprise, this conference did not go as planned. The mother immediately became defensive and started reciting incidents that her child recalled from school. However, these incidents had never happened. On several occasions she called me racist. The child sat there in the chair and stared at the floor (never looked up at me), and he continued to lie about events that had never occurred in my classroom. Obviously, I was heart-broken and so disappointed and wanted to make some sense of what had happened that day.
I talked with administrators, counselors, and other teachers who reassured me that they felt that he lied to his mother about things at school to get her attention at home. Even if the attention was negative and the situations were not happening, it still gave him the attention he was looking for. Although this made sense to me, I was devastated by this experience. It definitely changed my relationship with this child and also hindered my interaction with other African American children for some time. In the back of my mind, I was fearful of being accused of being racist again. Luckily, I was able to work beyond this fear as I built trust in families that I worked with.
Tabitha,
ReplyDeleteIt is normal to develop fear of being accused of being racist. Being an anti-bias teacher calls for stepping back to examine ourselves and the way we do things. An anti-bias committment calls on us to respect others enough to open conversation about bias and prejudice behavior and those behaviors accused of. Opening conversation with families would help us sort through the expereinces of children and ourselves and identify contradictory areas and attitudes we want to change in the children and ourselves (Sparks, & Edwards, 2010).
References
Sparks, L. D., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-Bias education for young children and ourselves
NAEYC Washington, DC 20005-4101
Hello Tabitha,
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your blog, it reminded me how often children will tell lies to parents about their teachers. A lot of lying is going on at the school where I work. This type of behavior is more normal than you realize. I am happy to see that you overcame this incident and are building trust with all families that you work with. By the way, did the child ever admitted that he lied to his mother?
Hi Tabitha. What a horrible incident. I does make sense why the child could have lied; However, no one likes to be accused of being something that they are not. Something of this nature could have a negative impact on the relationships between early childhood educators, students, and families. I am happy that it resolved itself. It sounds like you handled the situation very well and in a professional manner.
ReplyDeleteTabitha,
ReplyDeleteI like the way that you got to know the child for yourself. I do like the pictured he painted of you to his mother because the whole time you were trying to help them. It seems as if his mother may have some problems of her on to go along with these accusations without giving you the opportunity to explain what really happened. That was a horrible experience which could make you mistrust people. I hope that over the years do not let the behavior of this child hinder you in providing children with quality learning experiences despite of their race.
This situation is very peculiar as to why the child would lie to his mother. However she may have needed to ask if these stories were true. But I also know as a parent you want to believe that your child is telling you the truth. I guess since I am in this field I question my child several times about serious situations to find out the exact truth.
ReplyDelete