Saturday, February 11, 2012

We Don't Say Those Words

I have six boys of varying ages in my after school group. Back in December, I had a new member to join the group, an African American girl. After a few days of her being in the group, the youngest boy who is four years old asked why the brown girl had to come to our group. I was shocked that he would say that in front of the other kids, and tried to hush him so that no one would notice what he said. I quietly told him that we did not say things that might hurt the feelings of others. I did not want to make a big deal about it or keep it out the forefront of our conversation so that it would not make the new child feel badly. He was just simply upset that a girl had joined the group and referred to her race when describing her.

As an educator, I know I did not handle this situation correctly. I was caught off guard but should have used it as a teachable moment. I should have taken the time to explain to him that it was okay to be frustrated because the group would be changing; however we are not all the same. People can be different races, like different things, or different genders. I would then discuss with him the positive things that she can add to the group. I also believe it would have been a great idea to discuss with the group before having her join us. This way the children could have expressed any concerns about having a new member before she arrived. This would have given me a chance to talk with the group about difference ahead of time.

2 comments:

  1. Tabitha,

    You wrote a very interesting blog. It would have been very benefical to have discussed to the group that a new person was coming to join the group and that that person was a African American girl. This would have help eliminated some of the shock and resentment that occurred with one of the boys in the group. I am glad to see that you caught your mistake and learned from it. This was a teachable moment for you and future students coming to your group.

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  2. Hi Tabitha. I find it suprising that there are still schools, areas, and groups that are so segregated that kids aren't exposed to other races. I guess it's because I live and work around so much diversity. What age are these children? If they are school age, it seems disappoinging that their teacher and/or parents have not taught or exposed them to diversity. From what I'm reading, adding diversity to their group will be very beneficial to them in preparing them for the world. I hope you went back and discussed the diversity that it all around us.

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